messienoobie's EMBARASSING HIGHSCHOOL SHIT


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Page created on December 30, 2022

Like many other "modern" American-style highschools in the 2010s, our "cool" teachers assigned us lots of "active learning" projects that we were supposed to upload on your online "learning portfolio" on wix or whatever. If you remember screencastifying your prezi assignments and uploading the link to your google sites on google classroom, congrats, you've lived the same time period as me, lmao. Seriously, what the hell was pechakucha?

Anyway... I'm supposed to be working on currently actively working on on my master's thesis, 6 years after graduating highschool, and stumbled upon my old as hell weebly website. Now mind you, as an active procrastinator in an extremely laid back school I only submitted like 5% of assignments given to me during highschool (and college), so there actually isn't much to showcase, but I'm gonna upload some of the finished work here for archival purposes, as I trust neocities more than weebly. I guess future highschoolers studying Grendel and I Juan de Pareja can maybe use it as reference or something too (nah... go on sparknotes, if it still exists). Enjoy the nostalgia and shitshow. It's in reverse chronological order, to lessen the blow of the Cringe.

An advertisement for Contraceptive Implants (Grade 12, Biology class, 2016)

Each student was assigned a different birth control method to make an advertisement for, and I chose hormonal implants. I remember coming up with the idea and using all my time to align each fake phone screenshot with the old iPhone SMS sounds (which might or might not have been outdated already, I wasn't an iPhone user so idk). I just noticed I casually swore in one of the fake text messages ("WTF") but I remember my teacher saying awww, this is cute, so I guess it was chill. An important fact I should mention is that you could not and still can not get implants in Japan where our school was in.

Yearbook Page Logos (Grade 12, Media class, 2016)

I'm preeety sure I made one Dunkin' Donuts theme for another grade, but I can't find it anywhere :( Again, Dunkin' Donuts doesn't exist in Japan lmaoooo. I thought I was such a good "graphic designer" for making these on chromebook touchpad on the pixlr web app. At first I was going to use an automatic logo generator that used similar fonts like a normal person, but I decided to cut and paste parts of the actual pink panther logo in order to make each alphabet more "in theme" (?????) It didn't take too much time and it was fun. If any of you are assigned to make yearbook logos for 9th graders/freshmen, you may use this free without credit.

Teaching Others - in conjunction with The Elements of Style
(Grade 12, Literature class, 2015)

Okay, I think this was pretty good. This was a summer assignment where you had to choose two chapters from the writing manual "The Elements of Style" and explain stuff on your section to other people. Usually I am not that creative but I decided to make a comic this one time. I think my teacher was taken aback because everyone else was more serious and maybe I was supposed to be like that but idk. It's long, so click the title to open.

Chapter 1. comic1-1 Chapter 2. comic2-1

Chapter 1. OMIT NEEDLESS WORDS.comic1-2
comic1-3

comic1-4
comic1-5
comic1-6
comic1-7
comic1-8
comic1-9
Chapter 2. USE FIGURES OF SPEECH SPARINGLY.comic2-2
comic2-3
comic2-4
comic2-5
comic2-6
comic2-7

Student blog articles (Grade 12, Media class, 2015)

 
November issue: Winter Treats
        May issue: Okinawan Food

Media class students took turns and wrote articles for the monthly school magazine blog "Husky Pulse" (yes, our school mascot was a husky dog). The copy and pasting of the comics above took soo much effort that I'm too exhausted to think of a way to move these articles here so I'm just gonna link to the weebly site. There are three articles that I think shows a bit of Japanese culture and daily life so if you're a weeb that's interested in these things, please go read and enjoy.

Creative writings (Grade 8, Writing class, 2012)

Oh my... I don't even remember taking this class. I'm going to copy-and-paste these, grammar mistakes and all, and leave. Not gonna even re-read them myself, nopey nope nope. It's really bad. To be fair, grade 8 was called "middle school" and we weren't considered highschool yet. So... uh... idk... you can click on the title to show the "work" (bad decision), and re-click it to hide it immediately (as you should).

May 2, 2012. Titled "Humourous Fiction"

Once upon a time, a brother and a sister lived in a small house in Edo. The boy was said the smartest in the city, while his younger sister was the strongest in her age. One day, while they were returning from the street, the brother who was leading her stopped his sister. As they peeked from the corner the two saw a suspicious man, probably a homeless, sneaking into their house. The man looked young, but his hair was long and his kimono was full of dirt. They followed him, slowly and quietly, so that they could surprise him, catch him, and stop him from stealing something. The girl, making sure he wasn’t noticing, threw the temari ball, which hit the man right in the head. While he was holding his head in pain, the boy ran to him and tried to tie him, but the man fled, his hand tied but his legs still free. The boy, thinking fast, threw a bucket of water in the floor, and the man slipped, unable to stay in balance with his unstable geta and the non-free hands. His head hit the ground in a large sound, and the man became unconscious. As the two looked at the “robber”, they jumped and ran out from their home in surprise. The man was a newspaper man, trying to deliver their family some news. The bunch of newspapers in the bag was wrinkled and smashed, so the poor newspaper man lost his job. A few years later the newspaper man, now unemployed, approached the sibling’s home again, this time just out of pure anger against the two and to get some money. The boy and the girl noticed him, but since they accidentally hurt an innocent newspaper man last time, they pretended they didn’t see anything, and the man lived happily ever after with the money he got from the house.

Jeezus christ... what was "humourous" about that????

Okay, part 2. Trigger warnings for murder, March 11 Japanese earthquake/nuclear meltdown, and depicting natural disasters as human conspiracy. Also unfortunately extremely long. Damn...

May 20, 2012. Titled "Realistic Fiction"

I took off my goggles and looked at my wristwatch. It was three twenty, March 11th. My family and I were in a small ski resort. I stepped in to the restaurant to by some drink. I was so thirsty I could drink everything in the room.
The restaurant was empty, since it was a Friday and lunch time passed three hours ago. I walked to the vending machine and opened my wallet. I was about to turn my 100-yen coin in when a huge shake that waved us left and right occured. I dropped my wallet and held my head noticing it was a earthquake, a large one. One of the staff who were lazing washing the dishes screamed, and soon everyone in the building was panicking, shouting and running everywhere. I used my cellphone and googled “earthquake”, and as I suspected, everyone was talking about it. Accordig to one source, the earthquake started in Miyagi and had a magnitude of 9.5. I was staring blankly for a moment, amaze and shocked at the horrifying number, when woone of the employees shouted to te panicking cround of chaos with a megaphone. He said that the train is stopped for now, and that for safty reasons the resort is closed to day. I remembered about my father, who went up on the lift right before the earthquake The quake was still going on - What f he fails to go down? What if he was trapped in the middle of the lift?
I asked the employee with the megaphone, who told me he would make an announcement throughout the resort. He told me to wait patiently until my father comes, but I was too worried that I slipped out of the room while nobody was watching. The wind was blowing fiercely into my face, but I continued to walk uo the mountain. In the middle of the mountain, I heard someone say “the girl escaped!” and a crouwd of angry voices followed, but I didn’t look back. Instead I sped up, trying not to let the employhees that are following reach me. Why do the y want to stop me from finding my father so much?
I suddenly stopped in front of a large tree, half buried in the snow. The tree smelled horrible, as if someone was dying. I was shaking with fear, but managed myself to keel and dig the cold, wet snow. The employees, getting off the snow mobile, grabbed my hand and swore, but I didn’t budge, and continued to dig. Suddenly, a loud, ear-piercing gunshot flew through the air. One of the employee, the man whi had the megaphone and was shouting twenty minutes ago let go of my and and dropped down in the pool of his own blood. I turned my head to where the sound came from. A tall woman, wearing red glasses and as black suit was holding a gun, pointed to hte rest of the employees.
“What are you doing?” She snapped. The staff froze, and one by one, started to back up.
“Are you tyin to hide the truth?” In an incredible speed, she grabbed one of the employee’s arm. The employee squiremed, but the woman did not let him go.
“Tell us exactly what had happened - what did you do to her father!?”
“Let him go”, a calmer woman who was wearing the staff uniform said. “He’s dying.”
The woman with the red glasses hesitated, but let go of his hand. The calmer one came walking towards me, staring in my eyes as if she was looking for something. I felt uncomfortable in the silence between us and started to introduce myself.
“Hello,! I’m just came from Tokyo, since my father won the lottery. Oh, by the way, I’m looking for him right now. He’s 48 years old and has black hair...”
“...and he’s the head of a small fruits company in Tokyo”, she replied in a low voice.
“How did you know!?” I exclaimed.
The red-glassed woman, with a face red and raged, riplied. “Everyone knows him. He’s a horrible person who will kill anyone for money!”
I froze. My head felt dizzy. I didn7t want to beliver her, but in my heart I knew she was right. Six years ago, I heard a large crash, I rushed to the grden.
There. I saw my own father, stabbing my mother under the new-planted cherry tree, He never noticed me, and I pretended I didn’t notice me, even when he told me my other had returned to her home country the next morning. He was a liar, a murderer, and a thief, if the woman was true. I felt myself tremble, and the calmer one knelt beside me to support me.
“Get out of this resort before I kill you!” Suddenly, one of the employee commanded. He set the gun on his hand. The woman with the red glasses did too, aiming directly to the bunch of staff hiding behind the one holding the gun.
“Yes, we killed her father when he was skiing! But it was too late..., the earthquake had already occurred and the meltdown of the nuclear plant started!”
I gasped, took out my cellphone, and googled with my trembling hand. There, in the middle of the screen, many articles appeared; the first nuclear power plant in Fukushima had melted down.
The woman stood up, swore, and faced me.
“Too bad about your father”, she said, “but he was the one who caused 14,000 people to die today. He probably deserves it!”
Half of me belived her, while the other half doubted that people could start an earthquake. Trembling, I asked her why would he do something like that? How?
“He wanted Fukushima to die”, the red-glasses woman opened her mouth. “He had a rival company there, so he called the military of an anti-Japan society called-”
Suddenly, a gunshot cut the air, and the woman fell onto the ground. The red-glass woman tried to support her, but it was too late, and she was already dead.

What's up with all the typos? Maybe it was a timed writing assignment? Either way, absolutely inappropriate, but absolutely hilarious that I thought this was "realistic" by any means. Man. Write an ordinary romance story or something.

Stop motion animation project (Grade 7, Computer Class, 2011)

We were supposed to make stop motion animation, and this is what I made. I remember this being the most boring and low quality work in the whole class. I do not know how to make paper cranes, so my mom must have made them for me. The original video was extremely slow so I actually sped the video 4x and added music when I uploaded it here today, hence the extra message (there was extra time). Please enjoy the beauty of the obvious string.

Photoshop art (Grade 7, Computer Class, 2011)

gr7-photoshop

This is just cute. I'm poor, so I haven't used photoshop since then. lol.

Summer Vacation Newsletter (Grade 7, Computer Class, 2010)

I think this was an assignment to learn how to use.... the best text editor in the world... Pages (/s). "Food in England wasn't really good, but it was interesting to try them" - messienoobie, 2011. Sorry for the burn, I do love fish & chips and british breakfast though.

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